Let me be candid here. One thing that I really struggle with is comparing myself to others, especially in the area of being a wife and mother. I have this idea of the kind of wife and mother that I want to be, good ideas, ideas based on scripture and biblical concepts. And that isn’t a bad thing. It becomes a bad thing, however, when I start comparing myself to other people in relation to how I am living up to those standards. Because, let’s face it, God set some pretty high standards for all of us, especially as wives and mothers. But he never intended for us to compare ourselves to others. Gain wisdom and insight and encouragement from those who may be wiser or more mature, yes, but not compare. Comparing does nothing but breed guilt and judgment. And that goes both ways.
Just because other people may choose to parent in different ways than I do, does not make them a worse parent than me. Just different. And just because I see people doing things that I wish I did doesn’t make me a bad mom. Just different. Just a work in progress. Because that’s what all of us are. Unfinished and incomplete until the Lord calls us home.
I know these things in my head, but taking them and applying them to my heart is a different thing. I have struggled with feeling inferior and worthless for my whole life, stemming from a history of sexual abuse (which is another testimony for another day), and this has definitely carried over into my life as a wife and mother. I want to be a meek spirit and have a gentle, quiet disposition. I want to speak respectfully to my husband, and honor and submit to him. I want to build him up and make him proud. I want to teach my girl what a biblical wife looks like and show my son the type of woman God wants him to have.
As a mother, I want those same things. A quiet, gentle voice. Slow to speak and slow to anger. I don’t want to get overwhelmed with daily life. I want to be organized and energetic. I want to teach my children God’s word every day, speaking his praises often. I want to instill biblical principles and values in them, training them up in the way that they should go. I want to be a picture perfect, Michelle Duggar type of mom (and I’m not blasting her, she’s my hero!), but I’m not. And that kills me. I know, I know, everyone makes mistakes and has their problems and God is working on all of us. Sometimes, I just wish he’d work a little faster. Because you all know I have issues with patience 🙂
So, now that I have written a novel, let me just say, don’t compare. Don’t compare, because God is working on us all. If our hearts desire to be strong, biblical wives and mothers, then He will surely work in us towards those goals. The guilt and judgment that comes from comparing ourselves to others does not come from the Lord. And our culture has ripped the loving, helpful, guiding fellowship that women used to have, and replaced it with a lonely, independent existence. But we can change that. And we can start by stopping the judgment and comparisons we make regarding other women, and begin listening, learning, and loving. God bless everyone!
Brown Butter Brownies
- Preheat oven to 325 degrees and grease a tart pan or 8 inch square baking pan. Set aside.
- In a medium saucepan, heat butter over medium high heat. Stir frequently while melting and after melted, watch carefully for it to begin browning. Around the time it starts to foam, it’s almost ready. Once brown flecks start to appear on the bottom of the pan, turn heat off.
- Immediately add sugar and cocoa powder and mix thoroughly. Set aside to let cool down a bit. If you skip this part, your eggs might scramble. Not good.
- Once cooled a bit, add vanilla and eggs and stir well.
- Add flour and salt and stir just until combined.
- Bake for 20-25 minutes and serve warm with some fresh whipped cream or powdered sugar.
Source: The Little Red House