Kids in the Sink

Simple Homemade Salsa

on May 24, 2012

Most of the time, we are pretty good with kids. We understand them. We’ve been hanging out and working with kids since way before we had our own. We can usually translate for them where others would be lost and explain the thought process behind their adventures when others would be left wondering. We know our own kids better than they know themselves.

But we also know that just when you think you know something about kids, they go and change. They go and do something that leaves you shaking your head and speechless. Things that leave you questioning every parenting decision you have made and need to make and will make in the future. Things that make you wonder where you might have gone wrong.

This is just what happened earlier this week when I (Heather) walked in to check on the babies at quiet time and was met with Bailey, wide-eyed, staring back at me with a blue mouth. Bailey is 3. She is the oldest and quite aware  of right and wrong. Especially when it comes to eating writing utensils, as a common phrase around here is “Kale! You can’t eat pens, pencils, markers, crayons, etc. and Kale! No mouth!”. She’s got a pretty solid idea about ingesting inedible materials, even without the constant reminder that her baby brother brings.

So when I walked in and noticed a blue mouth, my first instinct was shock. I couldn’t even fathom that she had maybe eaten her colored pencils. Her colored pencils that she had just earned back after an episode of writing on the wall. I brought her out to living room so as not to wake Ella, and asked her why in the world her mouth was blue? What had she eaten? Her response: a pencil.

I really had to think quick here, because I really could not figure out, in what capacity she had figured this would be a good idea. After some further investigation, I figured out that she had eaten not 1, but 3 (and Melissa later found even more!) and that they were “isgusting”. I asked her why she had eaten them and she said, “I’m not sure.” I believe that.

I cleaned her up the best I could, because there was lead and wood embedded in every groove of every tooth in her mouth, and took a picture. She tried to pose and I had to stifle a laughter as I told her no, it wasn’t funny, and I sent her somber photo to her mother. Then I took away all writing utensils until such a time as her mother could deal with it.

When I (Melissa) got the text, I was glad I wasn’t at home to deal with it because I knew it would take me a minute to figure out an appropriate response. I could not understand why my child had lost her mind and I wasn’t sure what to do about it. This was only one of several things she had done recently that really had me wondering who had come in the night and removed the small amount of decision-making skills my child had developed thus far.

When I got home, I had to talk about how disappointed I was, ask her why she had done it in the first place, and try to maintain a straight face while Heather was laughing in the background. I explained to her that I would have to take away her writing privileges and she would have to earn back her writing utensils. I explained that eating pencils could be dangerous and that she was never to do it again. Later, I saw how serious the situation was when I recovered the hidden pencils and saw that she had chewed 5 of them, some down past the lead and into the wood!

Later that night, she asked for a pencil to draw and I told her she still hadn’t earned them back. She asked me why she couldn’t draw and I said, “Well, baby, it’s because you ate 5 pencils.” to which she angrily responded, “I did not! I ate 3!”

She’s still not writing or drawing and so far, digestion proceeds as normal. Now, this salsa. You have seen homemade salsa recipes that involve lots of roasting or boiling and lots of time. That is not this. This salsa just involves some ingredients, in a food processor, and done. You instantly have salsa for days that is just as good as the restaurant salsa and better than anything in a jar. Serve it at your next party with tortillas and people will surely be impressed at your mad salsa making skills.

-Heather and Melissa

Simple Homemade Salsa


28 oz. can whole tomatoes (peeled), in juice
2-10 oz. cans Rotel (we use one hot and one regular, but you could use whatever heat preference you want)
3 green onions, whites and greens
3 cloves garlic
1 jalapeno, cut in half
1 handful of cilantro
Juice of 1/2 fresh lime
1/4 tsp salt
1/4 tsp sugar
1/4 tsp cumin


  1. Place all ingredients in your food processor and process until you have reached your desired consistency.
  2. Serve with tortilla chips. The salsa is best served after it has had at least an hour to chill, but we have impatiently eaten it right out of the food processor with no complaints.

Source: adapted from Brown Eyed Baker


2 responses to “Simple Homemade Salsa

  1. Candice Stauffer says:

    I’m enjoying follwing the adventures of your little families – it brings back a lot of fun memories of my own “what on earth??” days of raising two punks – and watching my daughter with the five male grandpunks! Not to mention, your recipes are always a delight! Thanks for sharing…

  2. […] because we’ve been known to make some homemade versions of things that rock. my. socks. off. That’s real talk, guys.  On the contrary, there are things that we can’t bear the […]

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